UNSENT

            You’ve been a monster to me during our first encounter. You were a creature with encephalomegaly who didn’t have the soul of a human. From that day on, that monster has been embedded deep down into my neurons (together with the curse I intended only for you). 

            I really prepared for the time when you have to be my superior and I have to be your subordinate inside that room. And as I expected, I was the one whom you had given your initial strike. But I wasn’t affected. I’m already used to that for I believed that the curse will happen on a more appropriate day. 

            I have to admit, you are powerful. From a room overflowing with anxiety, you were able to transform it into a room where wisdom is smoothly shared, the room where the loudest laughters could be heard, more of a home of the family which you and the UNO formed. 

            I can still remember the day when I first heard you sing Voltes Five. I never thought that a highly academically inclined individual could get the nerve to sing such song unusually sung by persons with high reputation.  You were one of the few teachers whose ability is not only confined to teaching things limited by the curriculum but is extended to what you usually say the vast “university of life”.

            The curse I made slowly faded as I get to know the real you. And I discovered that behind that monster frontline lies a human within.

            Time passed. Laughters became more frequent. The family gets happier with each day. Great memories were earned. 

            Maybe, those days we lived in idealism. We were used to happiness, to being the best, to having a perfect world where an excellent teacher educates bright students.:)

            Our visions were focused to the horizon of perfection that we overlooked the reality. That we have our own imperfections.

            Reality hurts. And the pain sucks that it weakens our relationship with you.

            So now, how would a relationship built from aspiration for perfection face the challenge of our reality, that we are imperfect?

            I have a fear before. I fear making memories. I might remember them.

            But the memories are already made. There’s no way for me to avert myself from remembering them for they are already part of my system, they are already part of me. And its painful to realize that they are merely memories, moments of the past which will never happen again. A part of the past which you might opt to forget.

            Despite the pain of knowing you seemingly leaving us amidst the height of the problem still lies the trust we bestowed you as our second father. The trust is still there. We are still optimistic that behind every overt anger lies the concern which you just do not know how to show. We are still hoping that we could resolve this turmoil and use the lessons it wants us to learn to improve ourselves, to become more mature, to strengthen our relationship with you, to strengthen ourselves for reaching our aspirations – a world near perfection having reality as its foundation.          

            If only you would let us speak. If only you would let yourself listen to us.

                                                                                                                                                           Your student